Ever since my divorce, I've been trying to figure out who they hell I am & what I want to do in life...what is my purpose? As of now I don't feel like I'm here to do anything...stuck in a rut...watching everyone else living. Wondering how others get to be so lucky in life. How am I suppose to achieve any dreams I have when they all seem impossible, I'm a nobody w/o money? Don't get me wrong, I know God has blessed me since my divorce...it's just I feel like I'm too old to start over. All I want to do is something great - helps others in a positive way - I just don't think I will ever get there. I see others & how they talk about achieving their dreams but realistically, how many people actual make it? I would love to become a makeup artist, but have no idea how to get there. I'm trying to get my MK business up & running so I can fund this dream & hopefully one day help/own an animal sanctuary. Is that too much to ask for?
It's just one of those days I suppose.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Male vs. Female
The age old debate. What gets feminist everywhere twisted underpants everywhere. Seriously, WTH? Just because I happen to be a female, that does not mean I'm completely stupid, naive, & helpless. Women can do, if they chose to, any job, activity, etc., just as well & if not better than a man...but can men say the same thing? Um...no. Last time I checked a giant mass of bone & organs do not pop out of the penis.
I'm very well aware of the fact I do not know everything (don't tell anyone :) LOL), but to automatically assume I'm retarded & begin speaking to me in a demeaning way is messed up! I am just a big of a bitch (the equivalent to a dick), hardworking, EDUCATED, and the list could go on. Did we all forget was assuming does? Makes an Ass out of U & Me...not everything is as it seems. What if I spoke to a pro football player as if he was a neanderthal...all muscle no brains? Um, I'm sure I'd get my ass beat, but that is not how I was raised. I find that rude & completely unnecessary behavior. I have no idea about that person's life & characteristics, so forth. Or, just because someone has is "handicapped", does not make them lesser beings than you. Just saying.
But as a female, do not speak to me as if I am an adolescent when it comes to any topic of importance. Do not think you can charm my pants off for a better business deal. I don't care about the life you are living...I don't need to hear your life story so I may either praise you or hold your hand like a baby. Yes, we female folk fart, burp & scratch just as the male....ok maybe not scratch...
That's my rant...
I'm very well aware of the fact I do not know everything (don't tell anyone :) LOL), but to automatically assume I'm retarded & begin speaking to me in a demeaning way is messed up! I am just a big of a bitch (the equivalent to a dick), hardworking, EDUCATED, and the list could go on. Did we all forget was assuming does? Makes an Ass out of U & Me...not everything is as it seems. What if I spoke to a pro football player as if he was a neanderthal...all muscle no brains? Um, I'm sure I'd get my ass beat, but that is not how I was raised. I find that rude & completely unnecessary behavior. I have no idea about that person's life & characteristics, so forth. Or, just because someone has is "handicapped", does not make them lesser beings than you. Just saying.
But as a female, do not speak to me as if I am an adolescent when it comes to any topic of importance. Do not think you can charm my pants off for a better business deal. I don't care about the life you are living...I don't need to hear your life story so I may either praise you or hold your hand like a baby. Yes, we female folk fart, burp & scratch just as the male....ok maybe not scratch...
That's my rant...
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Office space...
I am so tired of the corporate bullshit and office politics. Why is it that someone who has been with a company for over 20 years, does nothing, & isn't expected to do anything, still has a job & is a supervisor? WTH? Just because you have been employeed somewhere for like ever doesn't mean little permission slips for "not do anything today" are handed out. Why is this acceptable? Escpecially with so many people who are in need of jobs, taking jobs w/ a pay cut, etc. just to feed themselves & family. Just another reason why people suck - there will always be corporate bullshit, it's always about the bottom dollar, & people will always be "favored" over others....whether they work their way up or suck their way up.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Birds of a feather...or whatever the saying is!
My girls are soo stinking hilarious! Picture this...2 pugs (1 just a little smaller than the other) standing at full attention, watching a feather float down...both of their heads moved in slow motion following the feather! Then my smaller one tried to attacked it once it hit my couch! LOL Just thought I would share - my girls make me so happy!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Just another brick in the wall...
You finally get to the destination that you believe is where you should be for the moment, everything is settling in, & then BAM! Life changing decision time. Is it stupid to think about marriage again? Is it smart to pack up & move because his job is transferring him? Or, if it's suppose to be then the long distance issue we should get through, right? I don't know if I'm ready to make big decisions like that...of course, will there ever be a time when I am? Am I truly not able to make that kind of decision because of my recovery or is it because I'm absolutely terrified of change again.
I don't know what I'm suppose to do. I keep thinking that God will show me the way through these types of trials but at the same time, my impatience & doubt overwhelm me & I can't see Him anymore. Am I not praying right? I know I have far to go in my spiritual journey & I'm undeserving, but how am I suppose to get there, whereever there is, when more & more "bricks" are thrown at me? I just wish I knew what the right answer is.
I don't know what I'm suppose to do. I keep thinking that God will show me the way through these types of trials but at the same time, my impatience & doubt overwhelm me & I can't see Him anymore. Am I not praying right? I know I have far to go in my spiritual journey & I'm undeserving, but how am I suppose to get there, whereever there is, when more & more "bricks" are thrown at me? I just wish I knew what the right answer is.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
You get what you pay for...
My dream is to become a Hollywood makeup artist & to be able to utilize more & more animal friendly products....yeah, I know - that's probably completely ridiculous & will probably never happen. But anyways, with that dream in mind I have been watching & learning as much as I can about makeup application & tricks/tips. The latest discovery I made was - when it comes to lipstick & longevity, don't skimp w/ the checkbook.
I sell Mary Kay & I'm trying to get my business up & running, just not having any luck at the moment. So I try to wear a different "day" look everyday when I leave for the office. One day last week, I wore one of the new Mary Kay LTD. ED. lipstick that counts, I can't remember which color, created a nice base w/ a Mary Kay lip pencil, & the color was amazing! It stayed on ALL day! That's even after drinking who knows how many cups of tea or coffee, lunch etc. I had to use makeup remover when I was taking my face off to remove most of the color! I did touch up just slightly, once after lunch. Of course I typically re-powder my face & put a little gloss on...but other than I that, I was really impressed w/ the color.
The next day, I thought I would try the N.Y.C brand...I found a beautiful rich blueish pinky color & I wanted to try it out. I used N.Y.C. lip pencil to create my base & slapped on this in your face pink color...yes, the rest of my face was very neutral. I touched up twice before lunch & as I was leaving the restaurant to go back to the office, I just whipped out my little mirror (I bought myself a new "grill" so I always check if there is anything in my braces after I eat) & it wasn't a pretty sight. By that time, most of the lipstick itself wore off, leaving behind a blueish tint, but the worst part was...I was left behind w/ those harsh lines of lip liner (oh you know what I'm talking about)! I had filled in my lips completely that morning w/ the lip liner prior to the lipstick (the trick to insure that would not happen) & that still wore off!
I immediately put on a tinted lip balm of mine from Mary Kay (Peony) which helped my lips out until I got home. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to bash another makeup company, I still think that pink is beautiful, it's just not for an all day thing for me.
NYC
I sell Mary Kay & I'm trying to get my business up & running, just not having any luck at the moment. So I try to wear a different "day" look everyday when I leave for the office. One day last week, I wore one of the new Mary Kay LTD. ED. lipstick that counts, I can't remember which color, created a nice base w/ a Mary Kay lip pencil, & the color was amazing! It stayed on ALL day! That's even after drinking who knows how many cups of tea or coffee, lunch etc. I had to use makeup remover when I was taking my face off to remove most of the color! I did touch up just slightly, once after lunch. Of course I typically re-powder my face & put a little gloss on...but other than I that, I was really impressed w/ the color.
The next day, I thought I would try the N.Y.C brand...I found a beautiful rich blueish pinky color & I wanted to try it out. I used N.Y.C. lip pencil to create my base & slapped on this in your face pink color...yes, the rest of my face was very neutral. I touched up twice before lunch & as I was leaving the restaurant to go back to the office, I just whipped out my little mirror (I bought myself a new "grill" so I always check if there is anything in my braces after I eat) & it wasn't a pretty sight. By that time, most of the lipstick itself wore off, leaving behind a blueish tint, but the worst part was...I was left behind w/ those harsh lines of lip liner (oh you know what I'm talking about)! I had filled in my lips completely that morning w/ the lip liner prior to the lipstick (the trick to insure that would not happen) & that still wore off!
I immediately put on a tinted lip balm of mine from Mary Kay (Peony) which helped my lips out until I got home. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to bash another makeup company, I still think that pink is beautiful, it's just not for an all day thing for me.
NYC
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Taking responsibility...putting your big girl panties on...
What is wrong w/ the world today? We're greedy & always pointing the finger at somebody else...how amazing it could be if people actually took responsibility for their actions. Here are just a few examples of how completely twisted & ridiculous we can be:
1. McDonald's: lawsuit over spilled hot coffee...HELLO? You ordered a coffee - it's going to be hot! At worst, McDonald's should pick up the tab for dry cleaning.
2. McDonald's (or any other fast food restaurants that kids like): adults being angered because of the growing number of obese children, blame McDonald's for making their children fat...okay - really? They are not obese because they sit in front of a TV or computer or on the phone for hours, being completely inactive. Or, could it not be that adults buy that crap food for their children because it's convenient? What happened to PE in school? Or kids actually playing OUTSIDE...of course, now you have to worry about some perv abducting your child - jackwagons! McDonald's did not make your kids fat (ok, so they may ENABLE the lifestyle, but they're doing their job - marketing & making money - that's what companies do), YOU as the parent allowed your child to become obese (now, I'm not saying that is always the case, but in the scenario parents just bitching b/c their kid is fat & they've done nothing about it - they just want to sue & get money). Who drives them to these places of fattening food? Who, the majority of the time, is the one you makes the decision of where to eat for the family? Who funds these meals? Um, that would be the parent. Parents are solely responsible for their children until they leave the nest (and even after then in other aspects) so don't blame the corporation for doing its job. QUIT FEEDING YOUR KIDS FATTY, UNHEALTHY FOODS & THEN ALLOW THEM TO DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING THAT WOULD BURN CALORIES, ETC. Simple logic. Quit eating crap food & maybe your body will not turn to crap. To lose/maintain weight, you must exhort MORE calories than what you have put in.
3. Entertainment/Music: Hate to break it to you, but the entertainment industry is a reflection of our society today. Where do you think they come up w/ the ideas? I do believe to a certain extent, the industry can be influential among children, but as a parent - it is your duty to a) know where the hell & what the hell your kids are up to & b) teach the difference between reality & fantasy. Just because I listen to Manson, does not make me an atheist or encourages me to go out & kill people etc. We've all seen/heard the stories in the news. First off, if your child honestly believes that Manson or whoever is "speaking" to them, you have a different problem on your hands. Just like the fast food industry, these people are doing their job...Manson is actually a very intelligent person...they are SELLING themselves...they are the PRODUCT. Therefore, an image must be created & maintained to continue entertaining the public. So, when your kid goes & shoots up a school or is out snorting coke or whatever stupid thing they can do, it's not because Manson told them to do it. A teenage girl doesn't become a hoochie mama solely based off of what Britney Spears wears or sings about.
4. Blaming the victims: Ok, this one is a touchy subject for me. Rape is RAPE - there is not a middle area on this subject. It is either consensual or non-consensual...you either enjoyed sex or you could sue the other person for assault & battery. This happens unfortunately everyday, every minute to females all over the world. Many cases go untold for many different reasons...but this is where human ignorance just pisses me off - IT'S NOT THE VICTIM'S FAULT! Victim: the person who suffered through a destructive or injurious action; a person who is deceived or cheated, as by his or her own emotions or ignorance, by the dishonesty of others; a person or animal sacrificed or regarded as sacrificed...where, in any part of this definition does it say or imply that "they got what they deserved" or "they were dressed provocatively & I couldn't keep my pants on so it's their fault"? You get my drift. Women (and men) can wear whatever the hell they want to! (ok, maybe not everywhere in the world but at least here in the US) Just because a female goes out to a club wearing a tight skirt, low cut top & no underwear does not mean they want to be gang banged outside of the club in a field. Yes, females dress knowing that whatever they choose (the look they are going for) will draw either positive or negative attention...and there are just too many reasons why they do it and thought process of a rapist to get into here....BUT THAT STILL DOES NOT GIVE ANOTHER PERSON THE RIGHT TO FORCE THEMSELVES ONTO ANOTHER! So, because little girls are put into pageants & wear costumes that would make a pedophiles day, it's ok for the pedophile to go up on stage & have their way with the child? Ummmmm....NO! A little girl (12 or 13 - can't remember) is video taped being gang banged (train - whatever) by 15 different men....one after the other. The defense for the boys included comments such as, the girl was dressed provocatively, or my son was led to believe she was 17 (ok, what 12-13 yr old could pass as 17? Even then, if the 17 yr old was in the same situation, it would still be rape) or where were her parents, blah blah blah. I do not know of one female who would want to have a train done on them just for the hell of it...the only reason for a train is for making a porn video (that's in the actual Adult Film Industry, not your at home videos).
Maybe the little girl should not have been wearing what she was wearing, or should not have been out in that area at that time, etc. & yes, the parent(s) should be held accountable for her. But, that is completely irrelevant to the fact 15 MEN forced themselves on her one after another in one evening. Again, females (and males) can wear whatever they want to & they should be able to do so without harm. Where were the parents of the men who couldn't keep their pants on? They knew what they were doing was wrong - now this girl gets to grow up w/ the memory of being violated by 15 men...do you know how many issues this little girl will probably have growing up? Just saying.
That's all I got for this soap box.
1. McDonald's: lawsuit over spilled hot coffee...HELLO? You ordered a coffee - it's going to be hot! At worst, McDonald's should pick up the tab for dry cleaning.
2. McDonald's (or any other fast food restaurants that kids like): adults being angered because of the growing number of obese children, blame McDonald's for making their children fat...okay - really? They are not obese because they sit in front of a TV or computer or on the phone for hours, being completely inactive. Or, could it not be that adults buy that crap food for their children because it's convenient? What happened to PE in school? Or kids actually playing OUTSIDE...of course, now you have to worry about some perv abducting your child - jackwagons! McDonald's did not make your kids fat (ok, so they may ENABLE the lifestyle, but they're doing their job - marketing & making money - that's what companies do), YOU as the parent allowed your child to become obese (now, I'm not saying that is always the case, but in the scenario parents just bitching b/c their kid is fat & they've done nothing about it - they just want to sue & get money). Who drives them to these places of fattening food? Who, the majority of the time, is the one you makes the decision of where to eat for the family? Who funds these meals? Um, that would be the parent. Parents are solely responsible for their children until they leave the nest (and even after then in other aspects) so don't blame the corporation for doing its job. QUIT FEEDING YOUR KIDS FATTY, UNHEALTHY FOODS & THEN ALLOW THEM TO DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING THAT WOULD BURN CALORIES, ETC. Simple logic. Quit eating crap food & maybe your body will not turn to crap. To lose/maintain weight, you must exhort MORE calories than what you have put in.
3. Entertainment/Music: Hate to break it to you, but the entertainment industry is a reflection of our society today. Where do you think they come up w/ the ideas? I do believe to a certain extent, the industry can be influential among children, but as a parent - it is your duty to a) know where the hell & what the hell your kids are up to & b) teach the difference between reality & fantasy. Just because I listen to Manson, does not make me an atheist or encourages me to go out & kill people etc. We've all seen/heard the stories in the news. First off, if your child honestly believes that Manson or whoever is "speaking" to them, you have a different problem on your hands. Just like the fast food industry, these people are doing their job...Manson is actually a very intelligent person...they are SELLING themselves...they are the PRODUCT. Therefore, an image must be created & maintained to continue entertaining the public. So, when your kid goes & shoots up a school or is out snorting coke or whatever stupid thing they can do, it's not because Manson told them to do it. A teenage girl doesn't become a hoochie mama solely based off of what Britney Spears wears or sings about.
4. Blaming the victims: Ok, this one is a touchy subject for me. Rape is RAPE - there is not a middle area on this subject. It is either consensual or non-consensual...you either enjoyed sex or you could sue the other person for assault & battery. This happens unfortunately everyday, every minute to females all over the world. Many cases go untold for many different reasons...but this is where human ignorance just pisses me off - IT'S NOT THE VICTIM'S FAULT! Victim: the person who suffered through a destructive or injurious action; a person who is deceived or cheated, as by his or her own emotions or ignorance, by the dishonesty of others; a person or animal sacrificed or regarded as sacrificed...where, in any part of this definition does it say or imply that "they got what they deserved" or "they were dressed provocatively & I couldn't keep my pants on so it's their fault"? You get my drift. Women (and men) can wear whatever the hell they want to! (ok, maybe not everywhere in the world but at least here in the US) Just because a female goes out to a club wearing a tight skirt, low cut top & no underwear does not mean they want to be gang banged outside of the club in a field. Yes, females dress knowing that whatever they choose (the look they are going for) will draw either positive or negative attention...and there are just too many reasons why they do it and thought process of a rapist to get into here....BUT THAT STILL DOES NOT GIVE ANOTHER PERSON THE RIGHT TO FORCE THEMSELVES ONTO ANOTHER! So, because little girls are put into pageants & wear costumes that would make a pedophiles day, it's ok for the pedophile to go up on stage & have their way with the child? Ummmmm....NO! A little girl (12 or 13 - can't remember) is video taped being gang banged (train - whatever) by 15 different men....one after the other. The defense for the boys included comments such as, the girl was dressed provocatively, or my son was led to believe she was 17 (ok, what 12-13 yr old could pass as 17? Even then, if the 17 yr old was in the same situation, it would still be rape) or where were her parents, blah blah blah. I do not know of one female who would want to have a train done on them just for the hell of it...the only reason for a train is for making a porn video (that's in the actual Adult Film Industry, not your at home videos).
Maybe the little girl should not have been wearing what she was wearing, or should not have been out in that area at that time, etc. & yes, the parent(s) should be held accountable for her. But, that is completely irrelevant to the fact 15 MEN forced themselves on her one after another in one evening. Again, females (and males) can wear whatever they want to & they should be able to do so without harm. Where were the parents of the men who couldn't keep their pants on? They knew what they were doing was wrong - now this girl gets to grow up w/ the memory of being violated by 15 men...do you know how many issues this little girl will probably have growing up? Just saying.
That's all I got for this soap box.
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