You finally get to the destination that you believe is where you should be for the moment, everything is settling in, & then BAM! Life changing decision time. Is it stupid to think about marriage again? Is it smart to pack up & move because his job is transferring him? Or, if it's suppose to be then the long distance issue we should get through, right? I don't know if I'm ready to make big decisions like that...of course, will there ever be a time when I am? Am I truly not able to make that kind of decision because of my recovery or is it because I'm absolutely terrified of change again.
I don't know what I'm suppose to do. I keep thinking that God will show me the way through these types of trials but at the same time, my impatience & doubt overwhelm me & I can't see Him anymore. Am I not praying right? I know I have far to go in my spiritual journey & I'm undeserving, but how am I suppose to get there, whereever there is, when more & more "bricks" are thrown at me? I just wish I knew what the right answer is.
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