Whoever said all you need is love, was seriously disturbed. Love isn't everything you need & it's never enough. People will use you, abuse you & then spit you back out more ragged than you were before...yet I shouldn't think it was me? Of course not. I'm supposed to not be bitter & not take it out on the next relationship? Yeah, I'll get right on that, it's soo much fun giving your heart out to just anyone & have it fucking ripped a part just because it was fun for the moment. It has always been my dream to just date randomly, never settle down & just not care for a deeper connection.
DON'T FUCKING TELL SOMEONE THAT YOU WANT TO MARRY THEM, START PLANNING SHIT, GET YOUR KID INVOLVED & THEN DUMP YOU VIA TEXT MSG BECAUSE LONG DISTANCE IS HARD! Don't fucking try to tell me you do love me, because the last time I checked, I didn't do that to people I loved...just saying. But maybe I should. Seems to be the thing to do. They end up on top, so why the fuck not? I didn't care if he had money or if he were Brad Pitt...I didn't care he ate meat & loved to hunt...I didn't care if he wanted to get up & move across the world...all I cared about was him. Just him. Now I have friends telling me that we really didn't love each other...I'm so glad I get to hear that now. I do love him & it doesn't matter what the fuck I say because I'm just making him into someone he wasn't & I'm just more concerned about the relationship. How is that helping? The only things I said no too was being an alcoholic, drug addicted or strip clubs...damn I must be some fucking crazy fucking woman & that is just asking WAY too much of someone who says they love you & wants to be with you the rest of your life.
But of course, none of this matters because it was all a lie. I don't understand people. Why the fuck do I want to get involved in a relationship just to fuck someone over? Maybe I'm just weird that I actually mean I love you when I say it & really wanted to spend the rest of my life with you no matter what stupid shit you did or if I had to take care of your athlete's foot or even accept your daughter into my life because obviously she is important to you so she's important to me. That's just fucking ridiculous I know. What the fuck was I thinking? Ok I'm sorry to vent here, but when you don't have anyone to talk to that actually backs you up it doesn't leave a whole lot of options to vent.
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