It still baffles me to this day that I still attempt to be involved with someone. You would think I would have learned by now that people don't stick around & words are empty. I think, whoever came up with the saying "better to have loved & lost, than never loved at all" never lost anyone. It's hard not to believe that it's not your fault.
I've allowed this guy back into my life 3 times now & believing what he said to me. Why did I do that? Because I'm fucking retarded, that's why. For some reason, there is this ridiculous idea & hope that I would be able to spend the rest of my life with someone. Damn Disney movies! LOL And where does it get me? Nowhere. Does it do any good? No. Just one more piece of the heart gone.
I don't know how to not care...I mean, is he giving a damn now? Nope. I don't understand how you can hurt someone & not feel bad...I don't know how to do that. Maybe it would be easier if I would learn that tactic. He knows I'm hurting & does he offer any condolensce? No. I don' t know why I honestly believed him & trusted him...and that's a big deal. I don't trust anyone. Even after all the shit I've been drug through, I allowed the hope trickle in & let myself believe he really did want to get married & all that other bull. For 2 YEARS!
How many chances do you gives someone? Crying doesn't do anything...nothing changes. So is it worth it?
*Unicorns & Glitter*
No comments:
Post a Comment